remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
