I will die if light touches me.
Please, let me fuck your mom
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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