Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
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