he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
