Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
