i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Randomize
