im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
