well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize