capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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