I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
