i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
