Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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