Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
