I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
A+ Viking dick
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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