Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he fucked my hip out of place.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
