yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
