definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
