what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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