office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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