Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
