He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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