Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
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As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
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We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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