Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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