She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
