the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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