I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
