This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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