I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
