shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
