it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
