this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
