Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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