It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
