Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
