but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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