if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
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