Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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