I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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