Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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