He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
