After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
