At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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