I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
