i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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