We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
