I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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