you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
