i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
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he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
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I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me