I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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