Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...