some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN