is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend