Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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