Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
