great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I can't trust your balls anymore.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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