how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
