I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
