real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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