you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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