If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just want to make out with him forever
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
