Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
