Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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