why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
