weddingsv make me drug and hornr
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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