It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
