So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
